Your job is rhythm. If you believe

your job is more than rhythm

consider bass guitar.

Your job is more than rhythm.

It’s structure. It’s urgency.
 It’s cruising 
45 on a Saturday night.

You will play with your hands

for the first five years.

Don’t believe me? Silver Apples.

Listen more than you hit stuff.

Hit stuff less than you listen.

It’s clear what you listen to.

Listen to the rhythm.

Don’t listen, feel it.

The rhythm, that is.

You are to rhythm

what frames are to windows.

Clear structure.

You are to rhythm

what logs are to cabins.

Life ended to begin life.

You are to rhythm

what money is to cancer research.

Evil in the wrong hands.

There are two kinds of rhythm.

Yours and theirs.

Who's is greater?

There are two kinds of rhythm.

The note and not.

Which is greater?

There is no such thing

as hearing rhythm.
 
Believe otherwise?

No drum kit? Just tap

your leg. No leg? Just think

about it. The rhythm, that is.

You’re a machine
that
 does the same thing over and over.

You do it well, nuanced, and with free-will.

You’re not a machine.

You’re our human savior

sent to save this dance.

You’re perfect. I mean, you

make more mistakes than most,

but you know how to deal with them.

They say playing the wrong note

once is a mistake, twice is jazz.

I say: don’t stand on aphorisms.

March to the beat of your own drum.

Unless someone’s beat is better.

Then play that louder.

If you can't hear the band,

you’re playing pretty loud.

And we hate your freaking guts.

Jazz is tough unless you grew up

around it. So I recommend

you grow up around AC/DC.

Make a simple rhythm

beautiful. Three carne asada

and a Modelo, please.

Anyone who says Ringo Starr

isn’t a good drummer likely

hasn’t had an idea of their own.

Anyone who says Neil Peart

is the greatest dummer

likely was a spoiled brat.

Drummers grow in three

main phases: Novice, Skilled,

and Uncle Jared.

A drum fill is the opposite

of a drum beat, unless you play

the same fill over and over again.

A drum fill is your moment

to say what you want. Most say

brrd bap bap bap. Bap!

Drum fills are like soulmates.

Nothing else matters

the moment you find the one.

Drum fills are like soulmates.

This moment there’ll be only one,

then 47 more the rest of the set. 

A drum fill is your time

to shine. Imagine you're naked.

Each stroke is an article of clothing.

A good drum beat can be

tapped on any surface

but never whistled.

The number of pieces in a drum kit

is inversely proportionate

to what number its owner can count to.

A massive drum kit

isn’t quite compensating, just know

it will remain mostly untouched.

A drummer’s favorite number is four.

A drummer’s least favorite

number is P.L. 95-609.

It would be revolutionary to

end a fill with the ride. But,

I wouldn't try it. Ding!

A band is only as good as

the hours their drummer gazed

upon the Vic Firth rudiment poster.

It takes a lifetime to feel

just a few rhythms well. Good news!

Feeling gets easier over the years.

Gut feeling: Show us how

rhythm moves forwards

as much as backwards.

It’s goofy kid stuff.

It’s striking with sticks.

Keep it on the level.

Practice is devotion;

the only way to stay humble

and kick-ass on a razor’s edge.

Perform like a god.

Not like God god, but enough

for us to believe what we feel.